Lerner Child Development Blog
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Why Can't You All Just Get Along?
“Haha—you lost!”
“Stop singing that stupid song. You’re hurting my ears!”
“YOU CANNOT PLAY THIS GAME. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY!”
The sibling relationship is about as complex as it gets. Talk about the confluence of emotions that run the gamut from the extremes of love and hate. The natural conflict that arises as siblings navigate their relationship ranks as one of the most vexing challenges for parents, often sending them into reactive-mode which tends to exacerbate, not eliminate, sibling squabbles.
Since every family dynamic is different, there is no prescriptive approach to effectively addressing sibling rivalry. Instead, I offer some key guiding principles to help you avoid common pitfalls, as well as some actionable strategies for responding supportively and effectively when your kids are causing chaos, that you can tailor to your unique situation.
GUIDING PRINCIPLES
“When Is He Going Back in Your Belly?” How to Help Older Siblings Adjust to the New Baby
Aside from the expected challenges parents face in figuring out how to manage multiple children while trying to maintain their own relationship, the reaction of the first-born is often top-of-mind for parents. The good news: There is a lot you can do to help your older child adapt to a new baby in ways that maximize the chance that she will ultimately develop a close, loving relationship with her sibling.
Preparing Your Older Child for the Arrival of a New Baby
Claire Lerner, LCSW
Preparing for a second child is a little different than when you were expecting your first. One major new variable is child number one, who up to this point has experienced the world pretty much revolving around him. Another big factor is that many first-borns are only toddlers themselves when that second baby is on the way, making the concept of a baby growing in mom’s belly pretty hard to grasp. With that in mind, here are some ways you can help make this abstract concept more understandable and help your older child get ready for his new brother or sister.