A spate of parents have recently sought my help for how to deal with their kids who wake up super cranky, both in the mornings and after naps. The minute mom or dad enters their child’s room, she is shouting at them to go away. Then, as soon as they leave, she is screaming for them to come back. This cycle can continue for half an hour. The more they try to coax or cajole their child into a better mood, the more irritable she becomes. Once parents have forced their cranky child out of bed, the morning is fraught with incessant whining and turns into a cascade of breakdowns about seemingly minor issues.

While this is the last thing you need when you are trying to get a positive start to your day, it’s important to keep in mind that your child is not making mornings miserable on purpose. Some children (and adults) have a harder time making what are called “state changes”: going from awake to asleep and asleep to awake. Their bodies are more reactive. These physiological transitions are uncomfortable for them. It takes them more time to settle their bodies to sleep and feel clear-headed and calm upon awakening.

Here are some strategies families have found useful for helping their children adjust to the new day in a loving way:

What happens when you have done such a good job establishing routines and making sure your child knows what to expect that they fall apart when there is a break in the plan? Or when something unexpected happens? Read on. . .

If you're like most parents, not being able to get your children to cooperate is one of your most vexing challenges. It’s especially maddening when a child’s lack of compliance seems totally irrational; for example, 3-year-old Sadie, who loves to eat but refuses to come to the dinner table and draws her parents into a power struggle, making everyone miserable. This naturally catapults her parents into revved-up mode. They get increasingly annoyed and resort to all kinds of rewards or threats to motivate Sadie to tow the line. Unfortunately, this typical, reactive kind of response usually makes it less likely that a child will change her tune and is more likely to result in an intensified tussle between parent and child.
 
As with all child-rearing challenges, the key is to figure out the root cause of the problem; what the driving forces are that result in the unacceptable behaviors. My colleague, occupational therapist, Teri Kozlowski of Teekoz Kids, has helped me crack the code on getting kids to cooperate by pointing out two key factors that influence the chance that children will follow directions: (1) whether children are even attending to and processing the information parents are trying to deliver to them; and (2) the tone and approach parents use to communicate directions to their children.
 
Factor #1: