When NOT To Give Choices

So many parents I talk to these days are overwhelmed and confused about how to apply all the messages and strategies they get from social media to their specific child and family.⁠ The suggestions sound great in theory, but in practice often don’t work, leaving parents feeling worse—more incompetent than they already felt, and wondering, “What’s wrong with me and my child?”

Previously, I have addressed parents' confusion about time in versus time out—a false dichotomy. It is simply not true, and I will go out on a limb and say it is potentially harmful, to suggest that giving your child and yourself space in a very heated moment, especially when your child is being destructive, is NOT rejection, abandonment, or discounting your child's feelings. It's all in the way you implement the break.
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Here I tackle the confusion around giving children choices.