Highly Sensitive Children: Perfectionists

Gabriel (6) and I were working on writing letters together. When he couldn’t  make his “O” look exactly like mine, he had a total meltdown. The more I tried to tell him what a good job he was doing, the more agitated he became.

When Serena (5) messes something up, her reaction is very disproportionate and she is incredibly hard on herself - saying she will never draw again, tearing up the paper, crying, hitting herself on the head, throwing herself on the floor. We try to model losing/not being perfect and taking it in stride - we emphasize that, but it doesn't seem to help.

Highly sensitive (HS) children have a tendency to be perfectionists. When they can’t do something exactly as their brain is telling them it should be, they experience it as a loss of control which is very uncomfortable and hard to tolerate. Hence, the meltdowns. This can be very frustrating for parents who see the irrationality in their children’s thinking but find that using logic to help them be more self-accepting backfires.

What you can do: