Claire Lerner

With Claire Lerner

Welcome! I’m so glad you found me and my content!

If you’re struggling with challenging behaviors and are finding that popular parenting strategies, especially those presented as “gentle,” aren’t working and sometimes makes things worse, you’ve come to the right place.

For the last three decades I’ve been in the trenches with parents (primarily with kids 10 and under) who come to see me for help solving their most vexing childrearing challenges: tantrums, power struggles, sleep and feeding struggles, anxiety and so on.

I guide them through the detective work to decode the meaning of their children’s behavior to identify the root cause. This insight enables us to come up with effective strategies build resilience, emotional regulation, cooperation and connection.

The content you’ll find on this site reflects lessons learned from these decades of working with hundreds of families about what works in real-life, not just in theory, especially when it comes to parenting big reactors (aka highly sensitive, spirited, “orchids.) These are the kids who are wired to process their feelings and experiences deeply and therefore have more intense responses that can be confusing and overwhelming to both the child and their parents.

in my blog library you’ll find hundreds of articles. Drawing from cases from my practice, each blog explores a common childrearing challenge in-depth. Rather than offering one-size-fits-all approaches, these blogs provide a roadmap for how to decode the meaning of your child’s behavior—the root cause—and how to implement the most effective and loving strategies to nurture your child’s healthiest development.

My books, Why Is My Child In Charge? A Roadmap to End Power Struggles, Increase Cooperation and Find Joy In Parenting and my latest book, Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children also provide practical, real-world guidance that will help you be the loving, calm, connected parent you want to be while setting the clear limits and boundaries your kids need to thrive.

My 1:1 consultations provide the opportunity to get into the weeds on your unique child and the situation you are seeking guidance for. After doing a deep-dive on everything I need to know about your child and what makes them child tick, we come up with strategies that are tailored to the root cause of the challenge that leads to meaningful and sustainable change.

Finally, the LCD Membership provides full access to my library of blogs (with two added each month), monthly live Q&A’s that give you the chance to get more personalized, quarterly webinars on key topics, and more.

Before you go, be sure to sign up for my free bi-weekly newsletter that features my latest blog, podcasts and presentations, and other resources.

So dig in and send me a note about what more you’d like to see in these pages.

Warmly,

Claire

Learn more about me
Check out Big Reactors
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Services

I partner with parents to help them solve their most vexing childrearing challenges by guiding them through the detective work to decode the meaning of their children’s behavior and get to the true, root cause.

  • I offer consultation on the full range of challenges families confront in the early years, including: parenting big reactors (highly sensitive children), limit-setting with love, preventing power struggles, opposition/defiance, sleep, mealtime madness, aggression, tantrums, sibling conflict and challenges with peer relationships.

  • I offer workshops that can be organized for groups of parents and professionals. They span the full range of issues that arise in the early years

  • In order to see a child's behavior in action, I observe children both at home and school. I also review reams of audio and video recordings parents share of their challenging moments with their children. This enables me to help parents and teachers develop strategies that meets them in their reality.

  • I provide consultation to early childhood education and elementary school staff to help identify the root cause of challenges in their classrooms. This includes working collaboratively with families whose children are struggling to find solutions to help kids thrive at school.

About my services

  • “We learned through our potty training sessions that by giving our son 'two good choices' without letting on that we were invested in the outcome, he was regularly using the potty at home within a matter of weeks. This approach has also helped in other areas - getting dressed, mealtimes & bathtime. It’s working great—a whole new world!”

    - Parents of a 5-year old

  • “We began working with Claire when my oldest daughter was just two years old. Now a family of five, she has guided us through early childhood parenting and continues to advise as we move towards adolescent issues. Claire’s tactics changed us from ‘reactive’ parents, to more understanding, patient, and in control parents.”

    – Parents of 3 girls under 5

  • “Our son was displaying highly emotional, and sometimes aggressive, behaviors over everyday setbacks. Through sessions with Claire, we understood that our son was completely normal - but that the issue was with how we were responding to him. Our own emotional reactions were like gas on a fire. We offered him “two great choices,” and removed the passionate responses…understanding our son’s temperament was really valuable. Thank you for the tools you shared with us.”

    - Parent of 4-year-old

  • I just came across your work as I was trying to better understand my highly-sensitive 4yo. He is the sweetest boy with the biggest heart, but it just shatters so easily... Tonight it was because a bandaid came off in the bath 🥺 Thank you for sharing your work with the world, you have changed mine. 🙏🏻

    - Parent of a 4-year-old

  • I wanted to sincerely thank you for all you do to educate parents with big reactors. Each of your articles have resonated and have been so helpful as we continue to learn and manage her sensitivity and intensity. Even as someone in the mental health counseling field, I truly struggle managing her and I feel so grounded when I read your articles. Please know that your impact is more far reaching than you know.

  • Bedtime is now 10000x smoother, with lights out reliably at 7:45 and a single quick check 2 minutes later for a last kiss/ tuck in. I am so much calmer and more patient knowing this that I actually get to enjoy that time with them rather than just muscling through it.

    -Mom of a 5 and 3 year old

The Blog

My blog is based on three decades of experience working with thousands of families in the trenches. I started it in 2018 to provide content that goes beyond quick fixes, one-size-fits-all advice and surface-level solutions for parents who may never have the opportunity to work directly with a child development specialist. 

Each blog decodes the meaning of children’s challenging behaviors and provides detailed descriptions of the practical strategies that help families resolve these challenges in loving, effective ways. There are no one-size-fits-all answers. These blogs provide a roadmap that helps parents apply key principles and strategies to their own, unique child and families.

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